Settle. This is an IBB era word. It means you have been give money to
shut you up. Once you are ‘settled’ of course, you are compromised. You
start saying your benefactor is the only one who can do ‘it’, whatever
it is. Or that you will commit suicide if he does not run for a
particular office. Unfortunately if your benefactor dies, you don’t ask
to be buried with him
NIGERIA’S POLITICAL LEXICON; WORDS OR PHRASES YOU NEED TO KNOW TO
UNDERSTAND NIGERIAN POLITICS AND POLITICIANS.
NIGERIA’S POLITICAL
LEXICON; WORDS OR PHRASES YOU NEED TO KNOW TO UNDERSTAND NIGERIAN
POLITICS AND POLITICIANS. by Ibiyinka Solarin
This article assumes you wish to understand the ways of Nigerian
politics. Right? The following are some of the words, concepts and
phrases you need to know, so you do not become totally confused in
trying to understand Nigerian politics and process
Amiable: Ordinarily, this word merely means ‘to be friendly…or of
easy disposition’ When used in Nigeria such as in ‘my amiable
governor’, it means the user wants something from the governor or is
one of his hangers-on.
Empower: Normally, this word means ‘to strengthen’ In Nigeria, the
governor has ‘empowered ‘ many people. That is to say, he has given
them money, often under the table or ‘settled’ them. It would be
better of course if a community is ‘empowered’ by providing amenities
such as library, or a cottage industry, health center etc It is the
‘empowered’ individual who will see to it that the vote of his
community is ‘delivered’ during the election.
Settle: This is an IBB era word. It means you have been give money
to shut you up. Once you are ‘settled’ of course, you are compromised.
You start saying your benefactor is the only one who can do ‘it’,
whatever it is. Or that you will commit suicide if he does not run for
a particular office. Unfortunately if your benefactor dies, you don’t
ask to be buried with him
Stakeholders: This refers to. those who have an interest in the
outcome of a matter. It used to be used exclusively as a business term
before it was appropriated by the politicians.
Carry everybody along: To carry everybody along is to find
‘something’ for all the people in your party who competed against you
for a particular elective office. It means securing patronage or
contracts , creating sundry sine qua non for them, and generally for
you and them to continue to feed fat on the public trough. The point
is you have to find ‘something’ for them to eat too, after all, they
as well as you, know, that is the raison d’etre for your political
engagement. If you don’t ‘carry them along’ sooner than later, there
will be parting of ways
His excellency: This phrase was borrowed from the diplomatic
community. In Nigeria, we use it for president, vice president,
governor and deputy governors. We even use it for the unelected wife
of the governor. If you do not refer to her as ‘Her excellency’ her
‘security detail’ or security staff , ‘muscle men/thugs might pounce
on you. In order to show your undying love for the governor , you may
refer to his mother as ‘Mama Excellency’. She will surely remember to
tell his son about you.
Security Detail: This refers to normal police orderlies seconded to
a public official. In Nigeria, apart from these officers receiving
their salaries from the public coffers, the public official had better
take care of them…otherwise they could ALL go out to eat on you….to
your peril. Their loyalty, not to talk of integrity cannot be
ascertained. They have their price…
Honourable: This is a Nigerian term for members of the legislative
and executive branches. Many of them of course were never really
elected…the names of some were not even on the electoral list…but they
were ‘elected’ by the party. You will also get yourself in trouble if
you don’t address them as ‘des-honourables….or honourables’
Special assistant: this is the person that carries your bag or
holds your mobile [cell] phone because you are too important to do so.
If violence breaks out where you are, he will disappear with your bag,
he is not going to substitute his life for yours, whatever or whoever
you think you are.
Senior special assistant: this is one of your ‘people’ who ‘knows’
how you ‘really’ got into office. You have to keep him loyal,
otherwise he might spill the beans, or worse, defect. He may or may
not have some identifiable skill but you keep him around. You might
call him special adviser on ‘protocol’ or whatever asinine busy work
your fecund imagination can contrive.
Special Adviser: Since you have more cabinet members than you have
portfolios, you have to create this position to spread things around.
Otherwise how will you justify those huge federal allocations? In some
states in Nigeria, the whole of a monthly federal allocation is spent
on salaries!!!. I kid you not. This officer also ‘knows’ your business
, so it is in your best interest to keep him or her happy, he/she
might even be fronting for you in some shady deals.
Federal allocation: This is Nigeria’s contribution to the principle
of federalism. This is the mother and grandmother of our federalism,
the honeyed boondoggle. You may find it hard to believe, land mass ,
yes, land mass , is one of the principles of revenue allocation in
Nigeria. Many states cannot pay salaries of their workers without the
monthly federal allocation. You might wonder why they were created in
the first place? You are asking a hard question. Was the putative
state’s revenue profile ever discussed? No it was not. It was created
by some military ruler who wanted to give a state to his business
associate, to his people, class mate, his wife’s people, or to bring
government closer to the people. Please don’t laugh, this is one
rationale for state creation in Nigeria. Now you have an army of
bureaucrats in these states gulping billions from federal monthly and
LITTLE left for capital development. Some states in our country are
90someting dependent on the federal government…some are 70something
dependent. Since they have virtually no or scanty
internally-regenerated revenue, all the money is spent on paying the
salaries of the army of civil servants. In our country, we call them
‘civil service states’. That is, they pay civil service salaries and
nothing remains for capital development. Of course they are happy they
have ‘their own ‘ state. In case you are wondering where all this
federal allocation comes from? It comes from the sale of crude oil.
What if this crude oil dries up some day? Why worry about that today?
Let us enjoy our selves, may be another foreign exchange earner would
have been discovered…don’t worry, be happy. Before our very eyes, our
land has become a land of sloth, mind-boggling profligacy; we are
speechified to death with macro-economic statistical data…much
government [read much spending] but no development.
Minister of State: this is an officer in a ministry that is next in
rank to the substantive minister. Keep in mind that there is also a
special adviser for that same ministry.. As you must know, the
Nigerian federal government keeps almost 60% of the revenue. So the
minister gets paid, the minister of state gets paid, the special
adviser gets paid…[keep in mind all the three also have special
assistants on ‘policy’ ‘media’ etc]…and so the party goes on…
Local government chairman: Ordinarily, the third tier of government
ought to be very close to the people because there is enough for these
officers to do by providing services at the local government
level…markets, dispensaries etc. In fact, they do little. They are in
the pocket of our excellencies who often deduct from their monthly
allocation to oil their political machinery. Some local government
chairmen don’t show up until the end of the month to share the monthly
booty. They have little or no relationship to their locales.
Political aspirant: as is obvious, this refers to a person who is
interested in an elective office. Some are genuinely interested, most
are looking for what to eat, have no chance of getting elected but
hope the party will ‘remember’ them during the allocation of patronage
if the party wins. As our president stated at the conclusion of the Ogun state gubernatorial primaries ‘there is enough on ground’. There
is no need to fight.
Decamp: this means to leave one political party for another.
Ordinarily this is not unheard of in many countries, except it is the
stock-in-trade of Nigeria’s political merchants. For example, Sarah Jibril says she is the leader of Progressive Action Congress and
Rochas Okorocha says he is the leader of Action Alliance. They were
both in Abuja vying for the PDP presidential nomination, during Umar
Yar’Ardua’s coronation. In our own peculiar party politics, the
president of one political party would leave his/her party to vie for
the presidential nomination of another party. Having failed , he/she
returns to the original party , as ‘president’!. Rochas Okorochas and
Sarah Jibril are just atypical.
Oluremi Adikwe-Bakare used to be in the Alliance for Democracy,
then she went into PDP, back into AD, then into AC, then into DPA and
now this politician extraordinaire is now in the PPA. This woman went
from AC to DPA and to PPA in less than two months! Surely, we jest in
Nigeria. And Don Etiebet used to the chairman of ANPP but he is back
in PDP now, no doubt, as one of ‘the leading lights’. Alhaji Commodore
Lamidi Adedibu used to be in the then APP…well, we don’t need to go
there now, do we? Ok, if you insist, where will the N15 million
expected ‘allocation’ come from in Oyo APP?
Seeking relevance: this is when a Nigerian politician is said to be
making noise to make sure his/her voice is heard…because he/she thinks
he/she is an important person.
Level playing field; this ordinarily means all contestants have
equal opportunity to be heard . In reality this does not exist in our
country. For example, in 1998, one big man who was in jail when a
political party was being formed, walked with into the party’s
convention with N130 million, which our man says was given to him by
‘some people’. The party’s rules were set aside for him and he coasted
home as the presidential nominee.
Party chieftain: this is Nigerianese for a big dog in a political
party, perhaps with an office to his name.
Campaign organization: In Nigeria, political parties have been
personalized. You need to have your personal campaign organization
within or preferably outside the party. The political party is just
the platform to run on; it is your campaign organization made of your
‘personal’ loyalists that REALLY matters.
Structure on the ground: this refers to all those who support your
aspiration, aides, thugs and hangers-on. These people are on your
pay-roll and they know it. If it looks like your aspiration may not be
met in one party, you move into a more favourable climate …with them
in tow. Some of them act as your mole in the other structures in the
same party.
‘My governor’: this is how a Nigerian addresses the governor of a
state to flatter him. You can also call him ‘your excellency’. Please
don’t call him any other name, he wont like it and you wont like the
consequences of your foolish action either.
Distinguished senators: this is a title reserved for our highest
legislative office holders in Nigeria. Distinguished or not, some are
there to eat or find something eat. As Adolph Wabara so well reminded
us in 2004, some mortgaged their assets and sold their houses to run
for this position. And as you know in business, investment has to be
recouped…somehow. Many are distinguished in Ghana-Must-Goism. Some
though, are really distinguished in my estimation, like Udo-Udoma .
But they are not many and this has nothing to do with which political
party affliation.
Generational politics: this is a phrase coined by some under fifty
politicians in Nigeria who make the absurd claim that the leadership
of our country should be left to them. In 2001, they congregated in an
outfit called Progressive Action Movement [PAM]. They made the absurd
and patently false claim that people under fifty had never ruled
Nigeria.
Indeed, many of the pathologies that afflict our country today were
the handiwork of people in the past who were under fifty. It is ideas,
as the world history teaches us, that rule society.
Aso Rock: This is the seat of the federal government. In the 2000
budget, it was revealed it costs N1.3 billion yearly to run this
mansion yearly. That’s right, N1.3 billion. And that is not all. The
occupant of this house has at his disposal what the Nigerian media
refer to as ‘the presidential fleet’ of airplanes, more planes than
many airlines in Nigeria. This is the Nigerian behemoth, the hegemon.
The occupant of this mansion is totally clueless about the
socio-economic reality of the average Nigerian citizen or is
completely dissociated. He sits atop a socio-economic reality in which
the country is adjudged for two consecutive years 2005, 2006, as 158th
and 159th out of 177 countries on the United Nations Development
Program’s [UNDP] Human Development Index [HDI], sustained by a bloated
universally acknowledged corrupt bureaucracy that is a veritable gravy
train and a drain on the resources of the land. The HDI is an
aggregate measure of a country’s prosperity based on three components
of human development; standard of living, life expectancy and level of
knowledge. This means Nigeria is 159th out of 177 countries in terms
of standard of living and life expectancy, and 2/3 of Nigeria’s 140
million people live on $1 a day. The occupant of this fine mansion is
often dismissive of such statistics. Naturally, within his own
stupendously opulent environment, a different reality subsists. The
occupant of this villa is busy doing ‘reforms’ while we learn that N5
million is spent, sorry , ‘misapplied’ to make 1,000 copies of his
photographs.
