Never been so mistified about this country of ours till I got to know
this government. I happened to serve in Katsina when he was a governor.
I preached and sang his praises because of what he achieved with the
little he had. Now I began to think otherwise; in the first instance,
he refuses to take stance on vital national isssues, he changed course
soon after little critism and the worst of it all, making a minister
out of somebody who is an advocate for treasury looters. I thought the
president should know better especially being the first "schooled"
president in Nigeria if really it mattered.
Your articles are like the writings in our holybooks, I only prayed the
president is wise enough to draw wisdom from them.
Nimxy Simeon
November 11, 2007
Dear Editor,
Scams
A scam from Nigeria comes on my computer at least twice a month. One
was a minister selling a dog for $200.00 while on missionary work. Our
News Network put out a warning on this one. Now comes a fellow wanting
to put $10,500,000.00 in my bank account. Our News Network warned about
this also. In goes the money and then all of it is gone with your
savings also. Why do your citizens keep trying to scam U.S citizens???
Arthur R MacLeod
Dear Editor,
WHERE IS
NOLLYWOOD TOWN OR CITY IN NIGERIA
Could you pls. publish this letter on your popular web site for those
who know better to give me reasonable answers to this question. WHERE
IS NOLLYWOOD TOWN, DISTRICT OR CITY IN NIGERIA?
According to my research on America's HOLLYWOOD, it is a name of a
district in Los Angeles in the state of California in America where
film productions are been done.
Regards.
Edward
Ejoseph41@aol.com
November 07, 2007
Dear Editor,
More
SAN's - Fraud by SAN in Nigeria!!
Last Wednesday 17 more solicitors were made Senior Advocates of Nigeria
(S.A.N.). While we are celebrating with them, we are anticipating the
flow of new legal luminaries to oil the wheels of fair play and justice
for all in Nigeria! We really least expect that these luminaries are
going to spearhead and carry out fraudulent activity against Nigerians!
The reason I write this is a Nigerian legal luminary, Chief Ejike Ume (S.A.N.)
who practices in Onitsha, fraudulently misappropriated four million
Naira belonging to me. My short story follows below but I have
complained to the NBA Branch Chairman in Onitsha (Mr. Onyechi Ikpeazu).
I have written to NBA President in Lagos (Mr. Olisa Agbakoba) and I
have written to NBA Director in Lagos (one Mr. Osita Okoro).
All my complaints seem to have fallen on deaf ears as they have not
acknowledged my complaint talk less deal with it. I last spoke to Mr.
Osita Okoro who said it could be the case that despite delivering it to
the NBA offices, that my complaint might not have reached its intended
target. He suggested I send him another copy of my complaint. I did
this and since then he no longer takes my calls. When I catch him off
defense by using another phone to call, he then answers the call. On
realizing it is me, he claims to be in a meeting! Classic!
I live in the UK and I have encouraged foreign investors to invest in
Nigeria. My experience so far at the hands of the NBA is discouraging
me immensely. I decided that while I carry out my campaign to procure
justice in this matter I will actively discourage anyone from investing
in Nigeria because my experience has shown that the judicial system
would not protect their investments and property rights or adjudicate
disputes in a timely and fair manner without undue or improper
influences.
Do you have any suggestions to enable me find justice in the Nigerian
jungle? My main letter to the NBA is attached to this e-mail; I also
included all the evidence in all my letters to NBA:
Thank you in anticipation,
Eusebio Odiari,
Phone: +447956995200 or +234 8033556677
November 05, 2007
Dear Editor,
THE
SPECTACULAR LAUNCHING OF OLOIBIRI INTEGRATED LEARNING UNIVERSITY (OIL
U)
After groping in broad daylight for over fifty years, Nigeria finally
came to terms with reality and stopped the clock in order to place oil
and gas on the pedestal it deserves. This happened recently during the
Spectacular Lunching of Oloibiri Integrated Learning University (OIL
U). The cradle of Nigeria’s oil-based economic prosperity, Oloibiri
basked in the limelight as images of celebrities, business magnates,
and media icons alighting from posh cars, sleek boats, and helicopters
were beamed to a world-wide television and internet audience. There was
a rare joint public appearance of the demure, yet astute and
charismatic Umaru Musa Yar’Ardua, Nigeria’s president, and his
inimitable, gregarious predecessor (now a student of divinity), Chief
Olusegun Obasanjo.
On centre stage was the swash-buckling ex soldier, ex Head of State,
and ex Petroleum Trust Fund Chairman, Muhammadu Buhari whose usual
demeanor of a stiff upper lip gave way to a broad smile as he embraced
Yar’ Ardua, Obasanjo, Atiku Abubakar, Melford Okilo, O. B. Lulu-Briggs,
Anthony George Ikoli, Edwin Clark, Frank Opigo, Sam Amuka, Ledum Mitee,
and OCJ Okocha. After pausing to acknowledge a crisp military salute
from Emmanuel Ombu, he embraced Nwobidike Nwonodi, Nduka Obaigbena,
Kashim Ibrahim Imam, Ferddy Ngogo Alabraba, Raymond Dokpesi, Edward
Dandeson Spiff, Patrick Dele Cole, and the prayer warrior himself,
Yakubu Gowon. The sweet scent of reconciliation wafted in from the
surrounding creeks and masked momentarily, the odious breeze from
polluted mangrove swamps.
As for Yar’Ardua, his shyness was supplanted by a warm glow as he
hugged Condoleezza Rice who took the initiative and gave him a peck on
both cheeks, Angela Merkel, Lynda Chalker, Adefemi Taire, Cecilia Ibru,
Ayebaemi Spiff, and Ndi Okereke-Onyuike. He then hugged Beatrice Agama,
Alanyingi Sylva, Tonia Omehia, Efe George-Etomi, Beyonce, Queen Latiffa,
Alaere Alaibe, and Oprah Winfrey. He paused to exchange pleasantries
with his course mate at ABU, Adeline Denni-Fiberesima, widow of the
foremost honest public servant and authentic Ijaw hero, Dinma
Denni-Fiberesima who resigned as Commissioner for Health rather than
connive with a Military Governor to inflate his ministry’s budget and
fleece the people of the Niger Delta.
Then came a breathtaking scene as the richest woman in the world, Queen
Beatrix of the Netherlands, her tiara dazzling, marched in
majestically, flanked by two of the few quintessential gentlemen in
Nigeria who can be trusted with a charming lady and crown jewels,
Gamaliel Onosode and Babagana Kingibe.
The establishment of Oloibiri Integrated Learning University, OIL U, is
a master stroke for breaking the logjam in the Niger Delta. This
collaborative effort has brought together the Federal and State
governments, oil giants and minnows, beneficiary countries of Nigeria’s
oil and gas, and the longsuffering people of the Niger Delta. OIL U is
based on a hands-on modular and integrated collegiate system of
learning which doubles as a catalyst for provision of modern
infrastructure and services in the impoverished Niger Delta. With the
main campus located in the Ogbia heartland, other campuses will be
sited at Bane, Umuechem, Rukpokwu, Tebu, Ughelli, Brass Island,
Joinkrama, Akwete, Eket, Ekeremor, Gbukuma, Lobia, Ebebit Afaha-Obong,
Itigidi, Igbrekebo, Oben, Owaza , Oguta and Opobo.
As the audience cheered, President Yar’Ardua signed the Charter
establishing the university. Vice President Goodluck Jonathan signed as
a witness before the certificate was handed over to Professor Ebiegberi
J. Alagoa. The president in exercise of his unassailable statutory
powers then directed the Petroleum Development Trust Fund, and the NNPC
to release the sum of fifty million US dollars each for the immediate
take off of OIL U.
Each location of OIL U automatically becomes a RapidDevelopment Hub,
complete with potable water, modern sewage and garbage disposal
systems, a hospital equipped with ultrasound, ECG, dialysis, x-ray, and
CT Scan machines, Trauma Centre, and Burn Centre. Each will also have a
Fire Station, parks, horticultural gardens, and modern Prep schools. In
addition, there are the numerous infrastructures of the university.
Each campus of OIL U will establish and run a large scale agricultural
unit for farming and capture fishing, (not necessarily at the same
location) which will, provide training facilities for farmers and
fishermen and also produce enough food for the entire locality.
Consequently, thousands of meaningful jobs will be created instantly in
all of these Rapid Development Hubs each of which spans a thirty-mile
radius. This fits in snugly into the Niger Delta Master Plan which
sprung from detailed professionally conducted baseline studies and
already endorsed by the Federal Government and all nine member states
of the Niger Delta Development Commission. Thanks to modern technology,
they will be linked to each other through satellite and the internet in
addition to standard road and water transportation networks.
The keynote address was presented by Yar’Ardua who noted that companies
are in business to make profit, and having paid taxes as required by
law, find it difficult to provide amenities for their host communities
as that would amount to double taxation. Consequently, he announced a
Direct Tax Synchronization policy under which every kobo spent by
corporate bodies to provide infrastructural and social amenities at the
Rapid Development Hubs and the OIL U will be deducted from their tax
bill.
Almost all the quoted companies fell over themselves in a bid to
announce their contribution to OIL U, not because of any altruistic
motive, but to significantly enhance their profit margin and positive
image in their operating environment. As cheers echoed from the crowd,
Chukwuma Charles Soludo grabbed the microphone, and in his
broadcast-quality voice announced that all banks should transfer to the
Central Bank the funds in all accounts that have been dormant for over
five years. Some of the banking gurus at the event were startled and
began to send frantic text messages to their managers. One hundred
billion naira out of the funds will be used to bankroll the
agricultural programme of the OIL U project. The loan from the Dormant
Accounts Fund will have a fifteen year moratorium. The emancipation of
the Niger Delta has commenced in earnest.
A long list of required items was snapped up in no time by the
multitude of corporate bodies and individuals present at the launching.
To ensure a premium faculty-student ratio at OIL U, an initial 500
faculty members will be engaged. First Bank, Union Bank, UBA, Zenith
Bank, Oceanic Bank, Standard Chartered Bank, Coca Cola, Julius Berger,
Peugeot, Toyota, Unilever, Cadbury, Nigerian Breweries, Guinness,
Total, Shell, Agip, Chevron, Monipulo, MTN, Celtel, Globacom, and
Transcorp agreed to underwrite the salaries and emoluments of at least
ten academic staff each for the first five years of the university All
oil companies and banks with a turnover of over one billion naira in
the last year agreed to form a consortium which will bankroll the
salaries and emoluments of the remaining faculty and staff.
Queen Beatrix acknowledged that her emergence as the richest woman in
the world was mainly due to the perpetual windfall from the Niger Delta
which accrued to the Netherlands, thanks to the over half a century of
Shell’s operations. “I hereby undertake to transfer to the people of
Nigeria, the technology, equipment, and wherewithal needed to reclaim
the entire Niger Delta and transform same into a world-class habitat.
My country was a vast marshland situated below sea level prior to its
development into an impressive maze of modern cities,” The uproar and
cheers that greeted the speech were drowned only by the roar from the
engines of the helicopter as she took her leave.
Putting together this monumental gathering posed what looked like an
insurmountable logistics nightmare, but somehow, everything went
smoothly, with just a few ruffled egos. That was until the parade, a
variety show of sorts, featuring a March past, floats, and cultural
displays from the different Rapid Development Hubs, was staged. First
in line were about ten thousand graduands of NDDC skills acquisition
programmes to demonstrate that there was enough trained manpower to
execute the spinoff of multiple road, housing, water supply, and
electricity projects that will soon commence in the Rapid Development
Hubs. The suave boyish faced trio of Sam Edem, Timi Alaibe, and Atei
Beredugo carrying the national flag, NDDC flag, and OIL U flag with one
hand, and twirling a baton with the other demonstrated that beyond
their intellect, talent, and consuming passion for the Niger Delta, and
Nigeria, they are ambidextrous and quick on their feet. This display
was choreographed by Iniruo Wills, Ekpein Appah, Pattersen Ogon, and
Youpele Banigo. The crowd cheered as they took a bow.
Next in line in the March past was a collection men and women
brandishing enviable academic training, and solid personal achievements
in various spheres of life . They served on the Central Organizing
Committee, and were now performing on stage in an impromptu jamming
session. First to file out were Diezani Allison Madueke, Gloria Izonfuo,
Bolere Ketebu Nwkeafor, Ibiere Akpana, Victoria Akpomudje, Maryam Isoun
and Ebiere Odu. They were soon joined by Anne Kio Briggs, Ezibator
Egirani, Christy Mato, Theresa Mberekpe Ajuluchukwu, Sele Eradiri,
Akpezi Ogbuigwe and Ebimie Okara. They were all resplendent in
colourful attires, weaving a surreal tapestry of homogeneity in
diversity as they mingled with the teeming crowd. The Niger Delta has
never had it so good.
Equally captivating were the men, who included Telimoye Ogwara,
Blessing Didia, Numoipre Wills, Oronto Douglas, Vincent Idemiyor, Zubi
Nwuke, Igis Orubo, and Nimi Briggs. Others were Eric Aworahbi, Ebi
Awotua Efebo, Anthony Youdouwei, Ralph Doneh, Sunny Dikeh, Lawrence F.
Jumbo, Steve Odiowei, and Bola Aganaba. There was ecstasy in the crowd
as these fine gentlemen danced to the rhythm of a sing-song led by the
women and the refrain from the crowd.
Without warning, the hitherto boisterous crowd went into a near
stampede at the sight of an endless stream of young and not so young
unemployed graduates, the men clad only in sagging trousers (topless),
and the women sporting only T-shirts (bottomless), chanting
This is our story, this is our song,
Searching for good jobs, all the day long,
This is our story, this is our song,
Searching for good jobs, all the day long !
(to the tune of the refrain from the hymn Blessed Assurance).
They strolled into the venue and devoured the crumbs and leftovers.
Suddenly, from the public address system a familiar voice announced
“Eben, change your position; Eben change your position”. Since I sat
with legs astride, I quickly checked to ensure that there was no
wardrobe malfunction, not in front of this exalted crowd. I seemed to
be okay, but then the voice echoed again, ‘Eben, lie down properly,…
you are snoring’ It was of course, a voice I can recognize in any
pitch, scale, tempo, or octave, the voice of my wife, Ibidun. Startled,
I woke up from sleep and this vivid dream.
If only she had not roused me from sleep, I would have watched Beyonce
and Queen Latiffa belt out a duet. I would have heard what
contributions the United States, UK, Germany, Japan, Italy, Spain,
China, and others who have reaped so much from Nigeria’s oil and gas
would make towards making OIL U a reality. I could have listened to
Oprah share with Nigerians, the joy of fulfillment after she spent
millions of dollars to establish a school for our indigent sisters in
South Africa. I could have heard the commitment of the Niger Delta
governors to connect their spokes to the Rapid Development Hubs and
create meaningful jobs all over the place.
The OIL U is a convoluted metaphor of the Niger Delta. It is a lofty
dream and can be actualized if there is the will.
By Eben Dokubo
Ebendokubo@yahoo.com
November 02, 2007
Dear Editor,
neco
certificate
please sir permit me to use this medium to express National Examination
Council (NECO) incompetency, deficiency and outright misdemeanor in
issuing certificate since its advent. I wrote NECO SSCE since the year
2003 and to date i am yet to receive my certificate. can you imagine?
how did Neco even get approval to operate in the first place? please
neco should be scrapped if they don't have certificate to issue to
candidates. thank you.
